


The Open Door

by BombshellKell



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Post-Film
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-07-26
Packaged: 2017-12-21 10:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/899477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BombshellKell/pseuds/BombshellKell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once the apocalypse is over, Newt and Hermann are left without a purpose. But, as science has taught them both, nothing really ever has no purpose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Open Door

“It’s rather strange to think about now, but when I was a child, I was always brutally teased about being so fond of maths and sciences,” Hermann was saying. He and Newt were seated in the laboratory, across from each other at the table that helped divide the room. Around them, dozens of people were moving all of their packed things out, slowly reducing the place to a skeletal state. “They would complain that they would never use the information in what they called ‘the real world’.” 

“Well, this is as real as it’s gonna get,” Newt said, absently clinking a spoon around in his mug of coffee, stirring in sugar. “And we sure as hell used all that crap we learned in high school. I wonder how your classmates would feel about that now? If you and me hadn’t learned all that ‘useless’ stuff, I don’t even think any of us would be alive.” 

“We wouldn’t.” Hermann looked around, taking a sip of tea as a group of movers hauled a crate of preserved Kaiju bones out of the room. “Are you going to continue studying Kaiju?” 

“Oh, yeah, definitely. I mean, you really never know if there’s ever gonna be another problem, y’know? And like, think about it, maybe the next time one of them crops up we’ll be in our 80s and know everything there is to know about how to stop it.” Newt laughed, taking a huge drink of coffee from the mug. Even now, Hermann had the urge to smack the cup out of his hand before any of the caffeine could get to his brain.

“I suppose we can’t count that out, no.”

“Hey, why are they just taking all of my stuff out?” Newt twisted around in his chair to look at the other side of the room. All of Hermann’s equipment was neatly packed up in boxes, stacked in rows in front of his chalkboards, once crowded with equations and now completely blank. “You have just as much stuff as I do.” 

“Yes, but I was kind enough to pack my things myself. They have to do all of yours for you. And it’s a good thing they owe you their lives, otherwise, I doubt that they would.” Newt thought he could detect the hint of a smile, although Hermann quickly hid it by taking another drink.

Newt grinned. “Wait, did you just publicly admit that I did something right?” 

“I publicly admitted you did something right after we drifted, in case you’ve forgotten.” 

“Yeah, but that was an emergency. We’re fine now, and you’re still saying it.” Newt leaned his head against a fist, setting his mug back down on the table. “Not even bringing up any technicalities. You feelin’ alright?” 

“No, for your information. I’ve had a headache for three days.” He averted his eyes from Newt’s. “But I have a feeling you knew that.” 

“Yeah.” Newt sighed, staring down into the blackness of his coffee. “I did. Kinda hard to hide stuff, now. We kinda gave each other a backstage pass into each other’s brains.” 

“Don’t remind me.” 

They sat in a silence that was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable, for quite some time, doing nothing but listening to the movers chat around them. Pretty soon, they started moving Hermann’s things as well, and eventually the two of them were sitting in a room that held nothing but the two boards; Hermann’s huge, multi-layered blackboard with all its bits of chalk and white dust, and Newt’s smaller, stand-up white board, with at least five different colored markers in both the marker holder and on the floor. He hadn’t erased anything from his; he’d take a picture of it with his phone to save it before he did that. He wasn’t as confident as Hermann was that they’d never need the information again. Or, as maybe a better way to put it would be, not as hopeful. 

Hermann must have seen Newt looking at the whiteboard, because he cleared his throat softly and said, “At the very least I won’t have to smell those foul markers any longer.” 

Newt snorted. “Like you could ever smell those over the Kaiju guts. Those were the things you always complained about.” 

“I could smell the markers. Whenever you showed something you’d written down. It’s no wonder you act so erratically all the time, with those fumes.” 

“It’s better than being covered in chalk dust.” Newt reached across the table without really thinking about it, swatting some white powder off of Hermann’s shoulder. “At least I don’t look like I have chronic dandruff.” 

The insults were all half-hearted, without much passion behind them. Because now they knew too much. Hermann knew that Newt liked the whiteboard because he could erase things as quickly as he could think of them, with a brush of his thumb or sleeve. Newt knew that Hermann liked the sound the chalk made against the board, auditory evidence of his brain at work. They could make fun of one another all they wanted now, but it wouldn’t change the fact that the things they thought were so strange and funny were now, unfortunately, perfectly understandable. Newt wrinkled his nose at the thought of it, as Hermann brushed the evidence of Newt touching him off of his shoulder. 

“So,” Newt said, stirring his half-full coffee mug some more. “I guess you’re probably gonna leave. I mean, both of us are gonna have to leave, obviously. But... you’re probably gonna really leave.” 

“Well, yes of course.” Hermann looked back at him. “There isn’t any reason for either of us to stay in Hong Kong.” 

Newt nodded, staring determinedly down at the coffee. “So where are you gonna go, then?” 

“I’ve been offered a teaching position back in Berlin,” Hermann said, slowly, as if he didn’t quite understand why Newt wanted to know. “I’m planning on staying with my sister until I can find someplace permanent to live. Perhaps try to get in contact with my father...” 

“Yeah, I’m gonna go to Berlin, too,” Newt blurted. Hermann frowned at him. “I mean... my parents are there, too, y’know? And really, I don’t have anywhere else to go...” 

Hermann studied him for a moment before sighing, knowing that whatever he said, Newt was going to take it the wrong way. Or worse, he was going to take it the right way. “...Newton. I realize that what happened when we drifted with the Kaiju brain was... unusual. I realize that not even Jaeger pilots experience this kind of mental trespassing. And, even more so, I realize that it was through our combined efforts that we managed to learn what we needed to.” 

Newt puffed out his cheeks. “I’m hearing a ‘but’. Where’s the ‘but’?” 

“But.” There it was. “I still expect our relationship to remain professional. Nothing has changed.” 

“Everything changed!” Newt sputtered. “Literally. Everything. How can you even say that nothing has changed? That doesn’t even make any sense!” 

“Nothing has changed for me,” Hermann said, standing and snatching up his cane from where it had been leaning against the table’s edge. “I would appreciate it if you did not follow me to Berlin, Newton.” He turned and headed for the door. 

Newt stood, so quickly that his coffee mug was nudged from the table and crashed on the floor. Cursing, Newt bent over to pick up the broken pieces. When he looked back up, Hermann was gone, and all that was left in the room besides the two boards and a mover giving him a sympathetic smile as she carried out a jar of Kaiju eyeballs. 

\- - - 

“Dr. Geiszler!” 

Mako smiled shyly as he gave her a hug, lifting her up off her feet even though he wasn’t that much taller than she was. “Geez, Mako, it’s not like it’s the end of the world anymore, I think you can call me Newt now.” 

“Sorry, sorry.” She gave him a little bow once she was down on the ground again. “So are you ready?” 

“Ready? For a party? I’m always ready for a party.” Newt straightened his untucked shirt and brushed off his arms. “I guess it’s more of a reunion than a party...” 

“It’s a party. A little party.” Mako laughed as she walked with him across the street. “Even though it will be sad, without everybody there.” 

“Without everybody.... wait, who’s not coming?” Newt frowned. It was the first time all of them were going to be seeing each other since they’d stopped the world from ending. Who would be dumb enough not to show up? 

He knew the answer as soon as Mako said it. 

“Dr. Gottlieb said that he would be unable to come because of his new teaching job.” She shrugged a little. “But... didn’t he tell you that?” She looked over at him, tilting her head slightly. 

“What? No, why would he?” Newt answered too quickly; he knew he sounded defensive, and Mako wouldn’t miss that. She gave him what he thought from her must be a condescending smile. 

“I thought that after what happened...” 

“Nothing happened, okay? Nothing happened.” As the signal finally let them cross the street a second time, he realized he’d raised his voice at her. He took a deep breath. “Hey, Mako, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell or anything. I’m not trying to be a total asshole, I swear.” He ran a hand over his face. “But nothing happened. Me and Her-- Doctor Gottlieb agreed that we weren’t gonna let it change anything.” That was a lie, and Newt was a god-awful liar. He hadn’t spoken to Hermann since they’d parted ways in the lab so tensely the year before, although, and he’d never say this to anyone’s face, he did keep tabs on him. He found the university’s website and poked in to see what the mathematics department was doing from time to time. Not that any mathematics department anywhere did anything interesting. 

Mako was staring at him, with the kind of disbelief a mother gave a child who told her he’d eaten his vegetables when they were still sitting on his plate in front of him. “Can I tell you the truth, Newt?” 

“Yeah, please do.” Newt scratched the back of his head. 

“Dr. Gottlieb said that he didn’t want to come because you would be here.” 

That made Newt stop in the middle of the sidewalk. A few people bumped into him, and Mako muttered apologies to all of them before steering Newt over to the side of a building, away from the traffic of walking. 

Newt looked at her in a panic. “He really said that? He told you that?” 

“No. He used the teaching excuse first. But I knew that wasn’t the truth. Both of you are bad at lying.” She shook her head disdainfully. “So you should tell me what’s going on.”

“Nothing’s going on,” was his immediate response. Then, upon further consideration, “I don’t know what’s going on. I thought maybe that like, after the whole drift thing, things would be different, but I guess for once it really did just go one way.” 

“It never goes one way.” 

“Well, this time it did, Mako, alright? This time it did.” He leaned back against the wall of the building they were standing under, groaning and sliding down into a sitting position. “Cause I can still feel everything from him, even from thousands of miles away. I’ll be, like, just sitting there, and suddenly I’ll get hungry even if I just ate like thirty seconds ago! Or I’ll be with somebody, like with my parents, actually having a good time, but then I’ll be lonely and sad just like that and be a total killjoy for the rest of the night! It’s like I have this weird kinda bipolar thing going on and I can’t get rid of it!” 

Mako kneeled next to him, her hands resting on her knees. “I really don’t think you have anything to worry about.” 

Newt dared to glance over at her. “...What?” 

The party, or whatever it was, was in the hotel that Tendo was paying for them all to stay at. He and Allison had rented a few suites, as well as the hotel’s ballroom, for their group to inhabit over the weekend, and Newt probably wouldn’t have come if he’d been expected to pay for himself. He barely had a paying job as it was. But when he and Mako arrived at the hotel, sure enough, they were greeted with nothing but laughter and embraces. There weren’t very many of them there, was the first thing that Newt noticed. Tendo and Allison, Raleigh and Mako, Herc... a few other people that Newt didn’t know the name of. That was it. That was all that was left of them.

Tendo put a drink in Newt’s hand the first chance he got, something Newt was grateful for. He took a large sip before catching up with everyone, but it wasn’t hard work, since there were really only twenty people there, at most. He couldn’t help but think that the ballroom was overkill. 

After everyone had caught up, and the group as a whole was working on getting tipsy, Mako, who hadn’t had anything to drink as far as Newt could see, grabbed him by the arm. “I have something to show you,” she said with a smile. “I have a friend who wants to meet you. She was very interested in Kaiju, too. She always really admired you.” 

“Oh, really? That’s... great, Mako.” If this was what he thought it was, he would go along, even if he wasn’t in the mood. He didn’t want to be set up with anybody at the moment, not when he was getting a full feed of someone else’s feelings in his head as well as his own. But hell, a pretty friend of Mako’s who admired him? He wasn’t gonna say no. Mako was leading him to another door, one that led off to what looked like a storage room for the ballroom. 

It was a storage room, after all. Shelves were stacked high with wine glasses and boxed silverware, but most of the room was taken up by the wheeled baby grand piano that Newt guessed was sometimes used when they hired musicians for events. But the piano wasn’t the most obvious elephant in the room. 

“What’s he doing here!?” Newt saw Hermann standing with Raleigh and immediately turned on his heel. Mako grabbed him by the arms and swerved him back around, giving him a light push. Raleigh stepped away from Hermann and headed out the door. “Hey!” Newt tried to scramble after him, but Mako blocked his way, standing just outside the door and poking her head in. “Mako!? What the hell?” 

“I said you were a bad liar,” she said innocently. “I’m a good one.” 

She shut the door.

Newt banged his fist against it a few times, but he could feel somebody stronger than him, more than likely Raleigh, holding it shut from the other side. Newt turned, pressing his back against the door and finally getting a good look at Hermann, who looked about as happy to be there as he was. 

“...Mako said she had a friend who wanted to meet me.” 

“She said the same thing to me.” Hermann sighed, wandering over to sit on the baby grand’s bench. 

“I’m gonna go ahead and guess it’s not you.”

“No, unfortunately, I’ve already had the privilege of meeting you.” 

“Do you ever get tired of being such an asshole?” 

“No.” 

“So how have you been?” Newt went on without a pause, his train of thought rounding a corner. He stayed standing, his hands nervously rubbing his upper arms. “It’s, uh... it’s been a while.” 

“You know very well how I’ve been,” Hermann snapped. “Just as I know how you’ve been. The ‘backstage pass’, as I believe you put it.” 

Newt couldn’t believe he remembered that. “Wait. Wait a second, you can feel it, too? You get all... all my stuff, just like I get yours?” 

Hermann gave him an all-too-familiar glare of condescension. “Of course I do. That’s how it works.” It was then that Newt really saw that Hermann looked as tired as Newt felt. Or maybe he just felt tired because Hermann was tired. He remembered the occasional wafts of loneliness and sadness he got and wondered how often they were there for him. 

“I thought it was just me,” Newt said, leaning back up against the door again. “I mean... it had to be just me. Nobody in their right mind would just up and leave if they had such a good connection with somebody. I mean, best friends, brothers and sisters, married couples... some of them don’t even have this.” He saw the way Hermann bristled when he mentioned married couples and wondered what all had happened in a year. “Why... why would you leave, then?” 

Hermann was pitying him, Newt could tell by the look on his face, though he wasn’t exactly sure why. “Newton, I don’t want to share my mind with anyone. Least of all, you.” 

“Can we stop with all the crap already!?” Newt felt something within snap, his voice escalating to a higher pitch. “Oh, my god, I know exactly how you feel, and you’re still trying to argue with me! What the hell, dude? I know! I know everything! I know you didn’t wanna come to this stupid party because you didn’t know what you would say to me. I know you ran away to Berlin so you wouldn’t have to deal with looking at me and feeling me at the same time. I know you act like you’re some big mature genius but you’re just a dumbass baby!” 

Both of them fell silent at his outburst, but after a few tense moments, Newt started laughing. He saw Hermann try to stifle it, but he couldn’t help the smile that took over his face, as well. 

“I suppose it is useless to fight it,” Hermann sighed. “We are stuck like this, after all.” 

“For the rest of our useless lives.” Newt raised an invisible drink to him, having left his somewhere out in the ballroom. “Move over,” he said, walking over to the piano and sitting down on the bench next to him. 

“Do you know how to play that?” Hermann asked, incredulously. 

“Don’t sound like it’s the second coming of Jesus, alright? My parents were musicians. When I was a kid, they told me I could learn violin, piano, or I could sing. I picked piano cause I figured I’d learn more about music in general from that.” He let his fingers rest on the keys, covered with a thin layer of dust. 

Hermann watched him. “Yes, I... I saw you in a memory, complaining about practicing.” 

“I always complained about practicing.” Newt started playing, one of the only songs he remembered, ‘Für Elise’. “But I guess I don’t regret learning, y’know? Later on when I was older they finally let me buy a guitar and play that instead, and a lot of the stuff I leaned from this was pretty useful.” He was acutely aware of Hermann’s eyes on his fingers as they flew across the keys, playing the song faster and faster as he grew impatient to get to the next note. The song ended, and Newt signed it with a sour, flat chord, nothing but him mashing his fingers oddly against the keys. To his surprise, Hermann laughed instead of scowling. 

Maybe it was that that made Newt want to do it, or maybe it was just years of pent-up frustration finally let go, but he leaned into the space between them and rested his head on Hermann’s shoulder, his hands still on the keys of the piano and softly pressing down onto them in no particular pattern or order. He felt Hermann stiffen for a second that was brief enough to let Newt know he wasn’t opposed to this at all, and he was proven right when he felt the weight of him leaning against him in turn. The small party outside in the ballroom chattered on, as they silently caught up with one another, using the gaping open door they had accidentally created. 

But, Newt thought, maybe it wasn’t such an accident after all.


End file.
